Learning to Lose

Learning to Lose

My mother was a bad loser. I remember her pushing me backwards into a bed of nettles when I beat her once at tennis.  I was eleven.  She could not bear to lose and stormed off, racket in hand, leaving me floundering and stinging.     Like Trump, my mother...
Change Your Expectations to Find Christmas Cheer

Change Your Expectations to Find Christmas Cheer

I’ve been on BBC Radio Sussex and BBC Kent in the last two days, talking about our ‘great expectations’ for this coming Christmas.  After the Victoria Derbyshire comments about wanting to break the Covid-19 rules at Christmas, the airwaves have been quivering with...
The Addictive Pull of the Lockdown

The Addictive Pull of the Lockdown

The current lockdown is challenging us in so many ways psychologically and emotionally.  The stress of not being able to do what you want, when you want, or to simply go out and stay out, see people, have fun, and do all the things you usually do, is taking its toll....
Keep Calm and Don’t Catastrophise

Keep Calm and Don’t Catastrophise

For the past few years ‘Keep Calm And Carry On” has been reprised.  The old 2nd World War slogan has had a second life in our techno-hectic zeitgeist.  The slogan is on mugs, socks, cards, towels, t-shirts, exhorting us to calm down everywhere we are.   However,...
The Dark Side of Covid: Attacked at Ally Pally Lake

The Dark Side of Covid: Attacked at Ally Pally Lake

At 6.30pm on Friday 27th March 2020, I had just finished a long day of writing and working with psychotherapy clients online.  I decided my reward was my favourite daily allowed walk to my local park, Alexandra Palace, to look at the ducks.   I’d been...
Dealing with Brexit Day Blues

Dealing with Brexit Day Blues

Some people will be feeling thrilled as the portcullis comes down tomorrow and the drawbridge is pulled up, between Britain and mainland Europe.  They will probably be waving their union jacks, saying ‘Cheers’ and feeling they have won the fight to be true to good old...
Why Brexit is Like Giving Birth

Why Brexit is Like Giving Birth

Focussing on achieving Brexit as the ‘be-and-end-all’ solution to all our current problems, is very like the way women can end up focussed on having the perfect birth.  It is totally understandable, but on the whole, totally useless.  It is often the wrong...
Riding the Brexit Rollercoaster and Staying Sane

Riding the Brexit Rollercoaster and Staying Sane

It’s a truism: we are living in extremely challenging times.  The current Brexit rollercoaster is riding roughshod over people’s lives and well-being. The constant discussions, arguments, clashes, and crises are extremely wearing. Uncertainty creates a...
Overcoming Overwhelm in an Age of Anxiety

Overcoming Overwhelm in an Age of Anxiety

It’s a truism:  we are living in an age of anxiety. An age of too much information, too much stress, too much anxiety – too much too much. Consequently, many of us are experiencing emotional, psychological and physical overwhelm on a daily basis. The dial...
Surviving Blighted Blighty: A View From Sunny Spain

Surviving Blighted Blighty: A View From Sunny Spain

Having spent the past week in sunny Seville with my choir, the Highgate Choral Society, singing in amazing churches and breathtaking Cathedrals, one thing became very clear:  we were all thoroughly relieved to be away from the terrible tumult of UK life. Over tapas we...